As my freshman year here at Gardner-Webb University quickly draws to a close, I can’t help but reminiscence over ever memory, good and bad. I’m sure within a few weeks you’ll receive the full scope of nostalgia, introspective thoughts on my year, probably with a corny title and tagline. But today, in honor of the tears that are sure to come with finals week/move-out week, I share the much anticipated quote book from the past two semesters. Some of these quotes are from the friends from home, who kept my spirits high in the hard times this year. And many of these are from the wonderful (and often hilarious) people who I have met in freshman year. All in all, I have spent so much time this year laughing with wonderful people, and I think this list proves just that.
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Quotes 2014 – 2015
“I wanted to lie truthfully.” – Bethany Alston
“I have this character flaw called if someone dislikes me I dislike them right back.” – Bethany
Me: Have you ever seen The Breakfast Club?
Matthew Harris: Yeah… At Tiffany’s?
“I’m not judging… I’m just having some questions.” – Julianna Weiss
“If you can’t handle my awkwardness, you don’t deserve my awesomeness.” – Morgan McDaniel
*about white males*
“Your chance of getting a scholarship is zero, but your chance of getting everything else is perfect.” – Taylor Moore
“I think I broke like five girls hearts just by existing.” – David Cole
“Obesity is the most delicious disease.” – David Cole
Emma Shappley: But I’m afraid…
Me: Well I’m sure George Washington was afraid to cross the Delaware but we are the United States because he did. So I don’t know if you want freedom or love but I say go for it.
“Hannah, when you run you look like a newborn giraffe.” – Sarah Branch
Julianna: We’re all turning into mermaids!
Jesse Clark: FINALLY!
Morgan: I mean the ratio of guy’s is really off here. So I need to get on it.
Kyle Bradley: When Jesus said be fisher’s of men, he didn’t mean this.
Me: Being a boy is so much easier.
Jordan Grim: Being a boy isn’t always easier…
David: What are you talking about?? YES IT IS.
“If an animal gets hit by a car it will bring tears to my eyes. Unless I hit it then it’s the thing’s own dumb fault.” – Jordan
Morgan: What if I just stole your glasses?
David: I don’t think so… I don’t give these up without a fight.
“I know they’re making a joyful noise to The Lord but they cannot stay on key.” – Emma
Emma: These little hair pieces make me look Amish!
Me: I think you mean Orthodox Jew.
Emma: Oh right, I knew it started with an “o.”
Me: I get done at 11am tomorrow because my teacher has jury duty.
Landis: YES! The government finally came through!
Sarah: I’m a PK!
Me: Me too!
Cameran Kerley: My dad is a mortgage consultant! Go dad!
Taylor: We all have secrets.
David: I don’t have any more…
Abby: I’m pretty sure these moths are reproducing right before our eyes.
Dad: Then look away!
“I ran into that girl tonight. Inching my way closer to pushing her off a mountain and saving her at the same time!” – Jordan
“Cheerleading is like martial arts with spirit.” – David
Me: He only has five friends.
Emma: What am I, a green bean?
Kyle: My parents met at work.
Sharayah Westover: They met at war??
Kyle: Yeah they met in ‘Nam.
Cameran Kerley: I don’t know what to do about food and life in general.
Me: No sentence has ever encapsulated my life so well.
“I’m getting too fat to be with a skinny person.” – Morgan
“Life is just one big group project.” – Molly Weiss
Me: What did David’s armies do?
Aaron Hilton: They armied.
“Oh what a crime! You’re self conscious about your honesty.” – Holly Harris
“Every time you have a crush on someone doesn’t mean you’re giving your heart away that’s the most stupidest thing I ever heard.” – Holly
Me: Stop yelling about rape!
Jordan: R-A-P!
Me: Yay, now that you’re here, I can leave my stuff and go to the bathroom.
David: Perfect, now I can just steal it for you!
Me: How do you begin a paper about…?
Sam Hermanns & Cameran: YOU DON’T.
Me: This is couple season. It must be something in the air.
Emma: We must not be smelling the right air… We’re smelling mold!
Me: Last week I was pushing through to fall break…What am I pushing through to now?
Sharayah: Death.
“Don’t think about it as an hour and fifteen minutes. Think of it as fifteen minutes with an hour tacked on.” – David
“Well life is just dishing us all a happy scoop of pudding.” – Morgan
“Sam, what’s your earliest memory? Moving into campus?” – Taylor
“I figured if I got you really close to death it would make you appreciate life.” – Morgan
Pietro: And my printer was jammed, and my car died. Then my dog was having explosive diarrhea.
Morgan: The printer was jammed but the dog wasn’t.
Me: What flavor are the muffins?
Sharayah: Um, muffin.
Sarah: I’m going to tag my black friends.
Cameran: All two of ’em!
Sarah: I tagged three… Well he’s half black.
“My favorite Christmas song is about Easter.” – Morgan
Sharayah: We are an open can of green beans.
Cameran: But we can’t help you.
Me: We aren’t a very nutritional can of green beans.
Sharayah: It’s just sodium, sodium, sodium.
Cameran: Have you ever lied about your age?
Me: No! Have you??
Cameran: Well yeah, I mean I wanted to get in the hot tub, and you had to be 14.
“Ooooh! MONEY! The rich keep getting richer.” – Jordan
“I love you regardless of if you are rich or poor. I don’t care if you’re a homeless person with toilet paper as clothes.” – Sharayah
“Nothing says Bahamas like socks and a polo.” – Jules
Matthew: Stop talking about my condition!
Jesse: Single?
Me: I need something salty.
Andrea VanDerwerker: Lick yourself.
“The caf is blissfully mediocre.” – Morgan
“Class of 2025. 2025 just screams apocalypse.” — Abby
“I need to fill out a work order form for my heart.” – me
Me: My appearance is obviously not attracting anyone to me.
Emma: Yeah, that’s true.
“Some people sold a kidney to be there and I’m sitting here eating French fries.” – Emma
“With your fabulous personality and my wit we could take over the world!” – me
“Every time he sees me I’m sitting by myself reading my Bible. He’s probably like, ‘well, Jesus is the only friend she has.’” – Emma
“There’s some bacteria in the hot tub. It’s called sin.” – me
Pastor: We’re charismatic bapti-costal.
JJ Gibbs: UGH.
“I just can’t wait to see the look on his face when I tell him I am with child.” – Emma
“He asked if I was having a milk party. Yes, cuz THAT’S a thing.” – Trista Riddle
“Is curly fry one word or two?” – Emma
“My hair looks great after that nap! Praise The Lord! Sometimes you just have to praise Him for the little things.” – Emma
“The snow and the beach make people couple up like Noah’s arc.” – Me
Me: Our room looks weird…
Emma: Yeah, it’s clean.
Me: I’m just a piece of a Kleenex.
Emma: The little corner piece that people spit their gum in.
*talking about ordering a venti*
“I really shouldn’t have gotten this. It’s a tenth of my bank account.” – Bethany
Me: Everything is one big awkward hello.
Audrey Lakin: Welcome home.
Holly: A type of communication.
Me: Speaking, writing, yelling.
Matthew: Her favorite three.
“Wow she’s going to tear this dorm down with her bare hands.” – me
Me: I don’t want to write boring stuff.
Sam: You might have to. Like Edgar Allen Poe.
Me: He didn’t write boring stuff!
Sam: I know. He was poor.
Lauren Mahoney: So, your stem cells could be growing teeth inside your uterus.
Jeremy Boudah: Congrats! You’re having twins!
Me: I don’t think he’s capable of having fireflies.
Cam: I think he has bees.
“Here I am a year later. A lot more insecure and a little more knowledgable-r.” – me
“We’re talking about our social security numbers like we’re 79 and preparing for the old folk’s home.” – Sharayah
Prof: So you get to spend hours in the library! Doesn’t that sound like fun??
Daniel Napier: Oodles and oodles of fun!
“Pillowed shingles! For children who like to climb on the roofs! Pingles! Shillows!” – Austin Miller
Me: Are you a stress eater?
Emma: No, I’m just an eater.
“Honestly, I’m probably closer to a funeral than a wedding.” – Emma
“I’ve got to take my pants off or something, because I’m not working well.” – Sarah
“I’m fine, I just punted that goose by its neck to relieve some tension.” – Chris Anderle
“I wonder if people in jail get new trendy music… Or if they’re still listening to Billy Joel.” – Sharayah
“I’m literally on 5mg! That’s not enough to tranquilize a horse’s hoof!” – Sharayah
“I don’t do that non-timed, non-competition stuff. That’s for the weak of heart who need self validation.” – Amanda Collins
Me: Let’s end this semester like we began it.
Sharayah: Alone and crying?
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To all of you, thanks for the memories, and as always, thanks for the laughs. Already looking forward to the next laughs and moments the future holds for us.