“Life is worth living as long as there’s a laugh in it.” — Anne of Green Gables
I feel that I have been unusually blessed with hilarious friends. I mean, these folks are funny. And this year, I decided to commemorate the hilarity that often ensues by quoting the things that were especially funny and poignant. At the risk of having to insist, “It was funny! I guess you had to be there,” I decided to post a selection of particularly funny or quotable moments from the past school year. I apologize if this is self-indulgent. It made me smile and laugh aloud to reread these, and remember the fun times from this year.
To those who take the time to read the random conversation snippets, enjoy the words that have made me laugh, smile, and think. (Mostly laugh. Snort laugh at times…)
If your name made it to this list… Well honestly, it’s just whatever thing that made me laugh in the moment so I jotted it down. Come on, I’m not a comedic expert. So to you, the friends who created these quotes, thank you for constantly keeping joy at the forefront of our friendships. You make life so much better, because you put the laugh in it.
Quotes 2013-2014
“She should be clothed in dignity… And nothing else apparently.” — Jesse Clark
“Some Bible stories just aren’t told as much. Daniel & the Lions’ Den… Lot and His Incest.” — Holly Harris
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned at college… It’s… Um… I forgot.” — Matthew Harris
“We’ll never have world peace. There will never be a cure for hunger. And there will always be cuss words. GET OVER IT.” — Bethany Alston
Julianna Weiss: A prideful heart is bad medicine for everyone! Bethany Alston: That’s from 2nd Opinions 3:12
“I’ll try water.” — Robert Chou
Ryan Dovel: Maybe in the next years it’ll be BYOF. Bring Your Own Fiancé! Robert Chou: …That’s with a “P.” Ryan Dovel: Shh… Your private school is showing.
“Bacon is meat candy.” — Will King
“It was made in the ancient times when dinosaurs were doing vaudeville.” — Bethany Alston
“At least you didn’t go to a school of only sixth graders. I’m talking nerdy, pimple-y faced, just learned to play the trumpet sixth graders.” — Taylor Higgins
“Throwing stones never solves any of your problems, unless your problem is having too many stones.” — Ryan Dovel
“Demonly light… Isn’t that darkness?” — Molly Weiss
“Hashtag, you’re so high school. Hashtag, trying too hard. Hashtag go to college. It’ll hashtag make you better.” — Bethany Alston
“Wow the U.S. is so huge! I feel like I own an eighth of the world! Just kidding, that’s Russia…” — Julianna Weiss
Me: “Put yourself out there” is such a dumb phrase. What does that even mean? Micah Ray: Today a woman was run over on I-40 after she put herself out there.
Abby Ray: You shouldn’t even hate your worst enemy. William Gravely (eight years old): Oh that’s that kid who sat on my snack in Sunday school and then threw it at me.
“Sometimes people think it’s easier to build walls and lock doors than to clean up the wreckage of what could be.” — Landis Brown
“He is worth nothing. Well, I mean, he’s worth something as person because he’s God’s child. But as a teacher, he should be fired.” — Beth Winze
“You gotta choose not to get on the struggle bus. It’s always going to be there, tooting its horn saying, ‘get on!’ and you just have to choose not to get on in the first place.” — Julianna Weiss
“The colors were bread and wine. The colors of communion.” — Sydney Parker
“Remember when we used to marry the lighting bugs?? Yeah… They were probably all males.” — Lauren Howard
“My mom said, ‘you’ve got to stop calling people peasants.’ And I was like, ‘I won’t stop calling them peasants until they stop acting like it.'” — Beth Winze
*car runs red light* “Well that was brazen.” — Landis Brown
Me: I don’t even know how you choreograph hip hop. Holly Harris: Ok… Hip and hop a little.
“You have a beautiful heart, but everything else I’m squinting at.” — Bethany Alston
“I wouldn’t be funny without Jesus.” — Katie Gilbert
Andrea VanDerwerker: Hannah, I thought you were asleep. Me: I woke up to the sound of my breaking heart.
“I want coffee not bean water.” — Molly Weiss
“Wouldn’t it be cool if Beyoncé was a State Farm agent?” — Andrea Vanderwerker
“Let’s just buy twizzlers and suck on our pain.” — Bethany Alston
“Andrea, I feel like if you were a whale everyone would love you.” — Julianna Weiss
“You narrowly avoided getting eaten by sharks, only to be eaten by your own skin.” — Bethany Alston
Andrea VanDerwerker: I’m not gonna put on my seatbelt, it hurts my sunburn. Molly Weiss: Well, death will hurt more.
Julianna Weiss: *about Wilmington* This is underwhelming. Molly Weiss: Underwhelmington.
“I should grow my hair in front of my face since no one’s looking at it anyways.” — Andrea VanDerwerker
“Please, I’m not getting up at 4am to have breakfast with the president, much less to work out.” — Taylor Higgins
Jennifer Ray: She didn’t lie. She just… Micah Ray: Strategically miss told the truth.
“It’s always too soon to joke about mass genocide!” — me
“That’s my spirit animal… A dying moose.” — Andrea VanDerwerker
Me: What’s outdoor activity ministry? Emily Adair: I don’t know… Hiking for God?
“I don’t care if Halle Berry ruined Cat Woman. She wore that suit.” — Patrick Bryant
“No stop! Don’t peel on my jammies bro! Don’t take your dead epidermis off on my resting place.” — Julianna Weiss
“I’m deaf and I’m losing my depth perception. I’m Helen Keller.” — Josh Bailey
“That’s how it be sometimes.” — Brad Crawford
“I hope I outlive Jesse!” — Julianna Weiss
“It’s not a party till there’s an assortment of grapes.” — Jesse Clark
“Well I guess I’ll have to marry a poodle.” — Holly Harris
Andrea VanDerwerker: I need a cute caption for this photo… Bethany Alston: WIFE ME. I mean… Hi.
“It’s not an addiction, it’s a lifestyle habit.” — Molly Weiss
*laughs for a million years while crashing into a distant star* — Landis Brown
Thanks for the laughs. Here’s to the laughter in the every day, that makes life just a little more wonderful.